I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
