Its about making memories worth repressing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
