the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
