it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
