This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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