we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
