My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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