I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
