Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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