I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
