You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
