Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
