Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
