Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
