I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
