It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
