I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
