trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
