loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
