I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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