I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
