im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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