I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
