I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
