I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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