I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
