STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
