i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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