I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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