I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
