So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize