you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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