he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
