of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
