I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
