And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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