Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
