he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
