Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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