new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
