Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
