Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
