Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They are going to name an STD after you.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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