Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
