i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he puts the penis in happiness.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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