Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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