There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
