whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
so much tequila, so little girl.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
