I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
