I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
