my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
