Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.

(863): View more from Florida

Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

At least you don't cum in color.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.

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(801): View more from Utah

It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...

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(512): View more from Texas

He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?

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