haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
