I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
