hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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