Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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