Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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