Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
