How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
