and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm getting married
To pizza
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
