if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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