It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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