Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
