hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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