great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
