My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
