you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
