It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
