I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
